Hi, my name is Amber, and I have Social Anxiety! I get nervous and worked up when I meet new people or even worse, have to talk to them. My heart starts pounding 120 BPM; palms start sweating, and I lose all vocabulary. The night before having to meet people that I am unfamiliar with I lay awake planning my words carefully, which is pointless because I forget what I planned out in my head as soon as my eyes close. I would much rather write than speak. I feel like I can explain myself better when I write and get all the words that are jumbled in my head out. Writing gives me that creative outlet that I need to express myself, and speaking I just feel like a mess.
I honestly can’t stand when people say just to deal with it, or get over it. It’s not something that I can just “get over” it’s something that is going to take time and effort on my part to work through. One day I do hope to be able to walk into a crowded room of people and just talk to someone, or confidently introduce myself to a group of persons.
Whenever I walk into a meeting with a bunch of people that I don’t know, I pray. I ask God for the strength to talk and express myself in a coherent manner. As one of my friends said so perfectly the other day, What’s the worst that can happen? And how true is that?!? What is the worst thing that will happen to you if you talk to a complete stranger? They might walk away from you and think you’re weird, but they might also become a friend.
All Your Friends Were Strangers Once
It’s one of my goals to work on in the next year and something that I am going to push myself to do. I have started doing meet-ups with locals in my area who are writers. The first meeting stretched me! I am not one who likes to do those activities where you go around the room and introduce yourself, but we did that at the beginning of the meeting. I didn’t die, and I didn’t sulk in the corner in a fetal position and ugly cry… so hey, that’s a great start, right?
Two more posts dealing with Anxiety: